Sarah the Evil Nurse

I found this old email. Enjoy!


***


Here is the email I showed you at school, just so you can read it again and again:


Guess what.


Mum called Sarah (the nurse, I mean, not my cousin).


Yes, you heard that right.


She called the immunisation clinic, and Sarah answered.


Let me say it to you again s-l-o-w-l-y, in case you didn't understand.


My mum (got that?) called the (got that part too?) im-mu-ni-sa-tion (you understand what that means, right?) clinic (I hope you understand what that means too) and Sarah (still with me?) answered (understood?) the phone (now that's it, I hope you've understood the lot).


And my mum put the phone on loudspeaker too so I could hear the devil speak.


Her voice sounds so weird to me, because when she calls us "Sweetie" she doesn't say that in her normal voice. But on the phone she talks in a much more natural-sounding voice.


According to Sarah the needles are actually on the 29th, so I'm NOT having a needle AND a theory exam on the same day. They're two days apart, the theory exam being first.


My mum was telling Sarah that she was considering removing me from the program because of me being so dramatic. Sarah just laughed. Then I said, loudly, "Does she remember me?!" (She probably does. I make myself memorable by half-screaming "No!! No!!" while I'm being dragged through the Gates of Hell (the staff room doors) to the torture chamber (the staff room, where they were giving the needles.)) And no I'm not a believer in heaven and hell. Just so you know.


Fine then, since I'm supposed to be so dramatic, I WILL be dramatic! Here goes... (this isn't for real mind you)


"Sitting down on the chair in the staff room, I gave a weak grimace back at Nurse Sarah, who was standing in front of me. At last, the needle penetrated my skin. The moment it did so, I fell into a sleep from which I would never wake up from."


You do understand what I mean by "a sleep from which I would never wake up from," right? Right? Right. Well, I'm not going to explain any more.


(end of email)
I wonder what it is that's causing me to have odd dreams about Sarah. Odd dreams like me being on the internet reading an article about Sarah with wonderful sentences such as:


"One of my sons actually dared to give her a rude comment, to which Sarah retaliated by saying, 'Funny that, we're rivals and yet we think the same things about each other!'"


and the best one:


"I believe there would be more children alive in the world today if it wasn't for Sarah."


By the way, I found this random website.


http://www.madehow.com/Volume-3/Syringe.html


Typical of me to find all these random websites about needles, eh?